Well, I’m only going to give you my opinion because you asked for it.
Picture this, you fall in love and get married with a person who you plan to spend the rest of your life with. Everything is peachy keen, they are catch pajamas, you’re both successful, you both move far away from in laws to a nice city some where so its always just you two. Vacations, night outs, romance you name it. One morning your spouse leaves early to pick you up a coffee at your favorite coffee shop, gets into an accident. He/she have brain damage and a spinal injury. Not only is he/she unable to talk, but you’ll be hand feeding him/her, bathing him, caring for him the rest of his/her life.
What do you do? Do you quit your job and move in with in-laws back home taking care of your spouse around the clock, or do you drive him/her there, drop him/her off in the yard with a suit case because that’s “annoying and too much effort.”
If the idea of caring for another human being is disgusting to you, I would consider choosing another vocation besides marriage. Because let’s be honest here, making love makes babies. Nothing is a 100% effective, except abstinence. And even if you didn’t have children, you still have a spouse.
If the idea of caring for a tiny human being that you made yourself, is (from your perspective) absolutely perfect, flawless, wonderful and adorable, how do you plan to take care of a flawed, imperfect, adult who suddenly knows all of your pet peeves and does them on a daily basis.
What is love to you? Is it feelings? Emotions that are hormonal responses from various forms of stimulation? Because love can not be reduced to just emotions. It is the ultimate act of unselfishness, chosen freely as an act of will. Is this easy? No. It isn’t meant to be, by love we are refined and purified. But to love is what we were born to do, we were created to love and be loved. Fish swim, birds fly, we love.
Take a look at the young of other mammals. When they are born they can walk/crawl to their food source. Look at a human baby. We are the superior beings, yet our young just makes loud noises. Hungry? Loud noises. Wet diaper? Loud noises. Uncomfortable? Loud noises. Its completely dependent on the parents for care for years. Why? Because love. That’s why. It is what we do.
Love is messy, annoying, and yeah it is hard, but only in love will you have joy.
And for the record, who ever said you have to go to wiggles concerts? The good times don’t end with kids, in fact it gets better. You have any idea what it is like to be moving 200 mph through your day, then your 5 year old walk up to you and asks, “Mommy would you like to watch the clouds with me?” I stop and smell the roses, pick them, then look for bugs under rocks. I have even more of an excuse to attend theme parks, stay up late telling shadow puppet stories, eat endless supply of Halloween candy, travel and stop at every site along the way, because I’m not just doing it for my own experience, but because I’m depositing dreams and memories into tiny human beings. I’m someone’s whole world.
People are effort, people are worth it.
And you know, maybe your vocation isn’t marriage, and that’s okay :)
tears in my eyes, planning on having all the babies in the world now
:) Hi. Yeah sure.
So first, I don’t read my bible to teach, preach, or gain more bible knowledge. I read my bible to know Him. I read it for myself in secret so I have something to say in the open.
God doesn’t just pour out revelation if you don’t have His heart. The reason why is because if we don’t become what we’re reading through intimacy and knowing His first love, it will make us proud and will hurt us and people and we will live through our bible knowledge instead of through knowing His first love. That’s why James talks about how we all shouldn’t become teachers.
Jesus said to abide in His love. That is more important than knowing a lot about God. God doesn’t just want us to know the word, He wants us to become the word made flesh by His grace. He doesn’t just want us to read our bibles, He wants us to commune with Him. He wants us our hearts to connect with His heart and that will not start with theology or knowledge about God, that always starts with what Jesus accomplished to remove all wickedness and unrighteousness from our hearts through His blood and making us new creations through His resurrection. Old things have passed away; all things have become new! We’re loved sons and daughters of God! We were lost, and now were found! We were blind, and now we see! I’m so in love with Jesus because of that simple truth. He loved me when I was unlovely.
If there is anything you don’t understand in the bible and it is stressing you out (because it has stressed me out before), the first thing you want to do is connect with God: "Father, thank You. I don’t understand what You mean here, but I thank You for loving me because Jesus died for me and He rose. I thank You You see me and know Me through and through. You called me to Jesus, You chose Me, I didn’t choose You. You’re with me and as I continue to seek Jesus and trust in You, You will enlighten Your word to my heart and the Holy Spirit will lead me into all truth. I will walk in Your love and patience and be a son or daughter and trust You, leaning not on my own understanding, but acknowledge You in all my ways. Thank You for giving me grace and strength through Christ’s finished work and revealing my value and the value of others through His blood."
I’ve actually done this, and in time of working out my salvation in this way—not by trying harder or doing better, He’s trusted me with truth that my heart was in position to receive! So just be patient, connect, draw near to Him through faith in Christ crucified. Connect with God through His finished work and what He has already revealed to you and mediate on His goodness and slowly read His word and He will speak to you! Walk with Him. :)
Love and blessings! This was a great question. :)